


admit that you love him

by merrylarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Louis, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grinding, Harry's the biggest jerk sorry, Heartbroken Liam, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Louis feels Harry up, M/M, Top Harry, Weight Shaming, slight zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:32:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4676987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrylarry/pseuds/merrylarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not friends.<br/>You'll never be friends.<br/>You'll be in love 'til it kills you both.<br/>You'll fight, and you'll shag,<br/>and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver.<br/>But you'll never be friends."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> If you aren't aware, I uploaded this story first in early March of this year, but I recently deleted it to do edits and such to it. I finally have an outline for this story, which is going to make updates easier on my part. I'll try to update once-twice a week, depending on how much I have written.
> 
> Now on to dedication things. Firstly, I'd like to say a fuck off to Adriana, who kept telling me my fics were shit (honestly, I hate you) and to the rest of squad, y'all are amazing. And I'd like to also dedicate this to AJ, sorry I'm shit at helping you write stuff, but this fic has consumed my life.

_do you ever think of me, when you lie?_

 

'.'

 

Neither had known how hard it was going to be. How hard ignoring each other was, or how hard it was acting as though the song you were singing wasn't one proclaiming how strong you have to be. How brave you have to be to put up with it all. With the constant feeling of someone looking over your shoulder that would never cease. Or how easy it would be for them both to become accustom to the lies so much so that they themselves soon grew to believe them.

Coming to terms with just how many people they lied to on a daily basis made feeling happy almost impossible. Fake smiles were grown and used over and over again but eventually they too had broken. There comes a point in which both knew they couldn't stand another minute of the constant rumors and articles about them. They wanted to clear the water, but it was impossible.

It's been two months since a genuine smile crossed his face. Those two months had been the worst. As if they could be anything worse than what he had already endured the previous years. It's no way to live, he knows this. One day the lies will be cleared, his mind at ease, his heart freed from its cage.

The simple pleasure of a slip-up was all he wanted. Maybe an unplanned outing would be the end of it all. Or maybe a tweet that exposed more than what was permitted. Maybe retaliation would finally pay off. Maybe, just maybe his constant fight for his love would win. But failure was all but inevitable, and the realization of its presence would soon wash over him, and all hope would be lost once again. 

The thought of coming out was ever present on his mind, yet he never acted upon it. He had been told over and over about how it would ruin not only his, but his whole band's image. At this point he wasn't sure he cared. If he had to be honest, something he hadn't been in a while, he would give just about anything for ounce of freedom. Freedom of any kind. Even the ability to go on a date with the one person he had always wanted to, would be enough to satisfy him for a month. But this was very unlikely to happen, and he all but accepted it as his fate.

It was times like now he truly understood this is what his life had become and what it would be like from now on. "I can admit my mistakes, but I'm not going to confess to something that's not true."

"You're under contract Mr. Tomlinson, therefore you are required to do it."

"No, I'm not going to tell them I'm engaged to her. I don't care if you drop us, I refuse to lie about that," Louis says.

"After this, we'll let you and Mr. Styles be MIA for a few days. You have a few days until the next leg of your tour starts. We'll release a picture we shot a few days ago while you're away, get some theories started, then we'll inform you on what steps to take next. So, what do you say?" The woman asks.

Louis sighs heavily, his head resting in his hand. "You promise we'll get a few days alone, and you won't require us to do any promo for you?"

The woman nods her head, a smile plastered on her face. "I guarantee you won't be asked to do anything involving us the whole time you're away, except of course regarding your flights, but it won't be major," she confirms.

"I'll do it, how do you want to announce it? I'd like to be able to explain it all to Harry before hand," Louis says.  
"We aim to do it later tonight, set it up as though you proposed at dinner, we'll upload a picture on her Instagram, and we'll see the reaction, and we'll go from there. We'll give you a call a bit before its released," she says.

"Okay, am I free to go?"

"Yes, you may return to whatever it was you were doing today." Louis stands, and walks out of the room as fast as he can, not minding in the slightest how rude it may have appeared. He is led out of the building by security, and is driven to their hotel. He is ushered inside and is left alone once he is out of sight of the front doors. He decides there's no point in delaying the inevitable, so he soon finds himself in Harry's and his own's hotel suite. Harry is resting on the bed, his head propped up by his elbows as he stares idly at the television before him. He turns to look at Louis, and a smile creeps onto his face.

"Hey babe, how'd the meeting go?" Harry asks.

"Not good, I, I actually have something important to tell you. Just please don't get mad at me." Harry sits up, and continues to look at him. "They're going to be releasing a picture tonight."

"Oh, what's the bad part? They release pictures all the time, and they never get you so worried," Harry says.  
"This time is different. They, um, they want it to be a picture of a ring. An engagement ring," Louis explains. Harry's face drops. "I know it doesn't sound good, but they said they would get us a few days all to ourselves in the middle of nowhere, and they wouldn't bother us." Harry sighs, just as Louis had done when he'd received the news.

"How long does this have to go on, Lou? How much longer do we have to do this? I can't take it anymore," Harry says, his voice wavering. Louis walks to him, and wraps himself around Harry's frame. Harry nestles himself in Louis' chest, quiet sobs emit from him as small droplets of tears hit Louis' shirt. They sit like that until a knock breaks the silence, and Louis unravels the two, and walks to the door. He opens it, and is greeted by a somber looking Niall. Niall offers a small smile.

"Heard the news, how's he taking it?" Niall asks.

"Not well, not sure I blame him to be honest."

"Just wanted to drop by and tell you guys that the boys and I were thinking about playing FIFA in the game room down the hall, got some pizza ordered, we were wondering if you wanted to join us."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think we'll stay here, we've got some things to talk about. Tell the boys I said thanks, but no thanks," Louis says.

"I understand, didn't expect you guys to be up to it. I want you guys to know me and the rest love you, okay? We're here if you need us, any time."  
"Thanks Ni, means a lot, have a nice night," Louis says as Niall starts to retreat back down the hall. He shuts the door, and returns to the bed, getting himself comfortable among the sheets. Harry is curled up in front of him, so he places his body around Harry's. They does off moments later, but are once again interrupted by a ringing. Louis rolled over onto his other his other side, and grabbed his phone of the bedside table. He unlocked it and answered the phone. He held it up to his ear, "Hello?"

"Good evening Mr. Tomlinson, I called to inform you the picture will be uploaded in a few moments." Louis groaned, and ran his hand through his hair.

"If that's all, I'm hanging up now," Louis states.

"Your bluntness is noted, nice talking to you, Mr. Tomlinson," she says. Louis ends the call, and some how finds himself scrolling aimlessly through his Twitter mentions. A particular phrase seems to be repeated throughout a large portion of the tweet.

> "4 years of this shit, it finally hits 1mil rts and we get an elounor proposal, anyone else questioning this?"

It is then he realizes the tweet he had tweeted a few years ago the night before he was first seen with Eleanor had hit one million retweets. It makes his skin turn pale, and his stomach do flip flops. He types out a new tweet and tweets it before he thinks about it too much.  
"i have loved you since we were eighteen."

 

He shuts off his phone, places it back onto the bed side table, and rolls back over to get closer to Harry.

 

* * *

 

 

_lie down in your bed, your bed of lies_

 

`~`

 

His eyes fell to the floor as he descended, only looking back up when the familiar ding every single elevator seemed to have, dinged, alerting him of his arrival at the ground floor. His eyes scanned the room before stepping out. He sees a certain head of spiked, brown hair, and he begins walking toward him. Liam turns to face him, a tired expression painted on his face. "Rough night?" he asks.

        "Yeah, I'd tell you about it, but I'm sure you already know," Harry replies.

        Liam sighs, "Niall told us, can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but, one thing i can do, is comfort you, which, i'm sure won't help, but damn, i might as well try. Come here, bring it in, give Liam a hug." Liam envelops Harry in a warm hug, one that felt genuine, and, as Liam had hoped, comforting. Liam is the first to break away, "Everyone else is in the little restaurant, might as well get some food before we head our separate ways." Harry smiles, and follows as Liam leads him to where the rest of the crew is.

        Louis is sitting with Zayn and Niall, along with Josh, not a single one looking particularly thrilled to be here. Louis is the first to look up, and smiles at the two. "Hey babe, you all packed up? We've got a bit of time, the car's running a bit late, traffic and all that. Here, I saved some bacon for you, know how much you love it." Louis says. 

"Harry, babe, wake up. We need to get to the airport before word gets out," Louis whispers, shaking Harry's shoulder. Harry's eyes open a sliver, before opening all the way.

"Do I have to?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, babe, now come on, need to get dressed, car will be here in twenty minutes," Louis says. Harry groans, and pulls the covers off himself before sitting up. He stands up, and wanders into the bathroom. "I'm going to go get breakfast downstairs with the boys, come down when you're dressed. Love you Haz."

"Love you too, Lou," Harry responds. After going to the bathroom, brushing his teeth to rid his mouth of morning breath, he brushes through his hair to make sure there aren't any knots in it. He walks out of the bathroom, and into the suite, and grabs a sheer button up shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans, before beginning to get changed. He finishes up, and zips his suitcase back up so that it would be easier for the crew members to pack it into the van they were leaving in. He walks to the door, and leaves the room and begins heading down the hallway. He brushes his hair out of his eyes before stepping into the elevator.

His eyes fell to the floor as he descended, only looking back up when the familiar ding every single elevator seemed to have, dinged, alerting him of his arrival at the ground floor. His eyes scanned the room before stepping out. He sees a certain head of spiked, brown hair, and he begins walking toward him. Liam turns to face him, a tired expression painted on his face. "Rough night?" he asks.

        "Yeah, I'd tell you about it, but I'm sure you already know," Harry replies.

        Liam sighs, "Niall told us, can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but, one thing i can do, is comfort you, which, i'm sure won't help, but damn, i might as well try. Come here, bring it in, give Liam a hug." Liam envelops Harry in a warm hug, one that felt genuine, and, as Liam had hoped, comforting. Liam is the first to break away, "Everyone else is in the little restaurant, might as well get some food before we head our separate ways." Harry smiles, and follows as Liam leads him to where the rest of the crew is.

        Louis is sitting with Zayn and Niall, along with Josh, not a single one looking particularly thrilled to be here. Louis is the first to look up, and smiles at the two. "Hey babe, you all packed up? We've got a bit of time, the car's running a bit late, traffic and all that. Here, I saved some bacon for you, know how much you love it." Louis says.

Harry smiles, and takes a seat next to Louis, taking the plate offered to him. He eats slowly, taking his time was a privilege he had not experienced in a while. In this business it was all go, go, go, but just a few minutes to just slow down and really take in his surroundings, that was what Harry lived for. It was always the simplest things that made him happy, and really, what more could he need? Well, plausible things, stuff like coming out was a luxury he knew he wouldn't be lavished in anytime soon. But never the less, he was as content as one could be in a situation such as the one he was in. Another thing about slowing down, was when he noticed the small things, like the way Louis' eyes crinkled when he smiled, like really smiled, not that 'i haven't had a good sleep in months, but you're a fan so i'll try' smile. A genuine one, one that made Harry's heart swell.   

        The moment screeched to a halt, when a crew member alerted them to the arrival of the car. By then, the food was gone, and the rest of the boys were still lingering around, wanting to bid the couple farewell. After a few hugs, and whispered messages, Louis and Harry were lead towards the back doors of the building. The band wasn't expected to leave until the next day, so no fans were around to witness them leaving, which was a blessing to both, they were both too worn out to greet them. Sometimes they felt bad, not being able to leave their hotel rooms to meet fans simply because they were exhausted, not to mention going through the trouble of signing with a new management. All the boys should've grown accustom to it, but in reality, who could ever get used to the huge crowds of people that would form whenever they so much as went outside to do a bit of sight-seeing.

 That alone was one of the reason they were all on edge, one never truly knew when they were in the clear, because once your wall was down, you tend to be more prone to fan attacks. Well, not attacks per say, more  like a hoarding of people trying to get near you. It was flattering, sure, but it got old pretty fast, not to mention terrifying. This was one of the few times any of them had exited a place without anyone but their team knowing. (Save for the bread van incident, but they'd rather not talk about that) (Louis bumped his head) (It was pretty funny)

        The two were seated in the car, and they watched out their windows as people and places flew by as they got closer and closer to the airport. "Where are we going this time?" Harry asks, laying his head onto Louis' shoulder.

        Louis smiles at him, "Figured we better go somewhere different than normal, I was thinking Hawaii." Harry's mouth drops, because well, sometimes he forgets they're both filthy rich.

        "Seriously? You know, that's actually brilliant, like, now no one can like drive there just to see us, like in LA," Harry says.

  
        "And, I may or may not get to see you in short shorts, so its a win win for everybody."

       "Don't objectify my booty," Harry says.

      "Sorry Babe." Louis kisses him on the cheek with a smile.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mention in my last note, but my tumblr is aintnosaintlouis, so feel free to talk to me there, if you want. I also have a twitter, which is rainbowloueh.
> 
> Anyways, for future reference, I can't write bj scenes for shit, but like, I did my best. I promise any other smut featured in this story will be better. (Oh, and the bj scene is in either the next chapter or the one after that, thought you should be forewarned)

 

and I knew better, then to look in your eyes.

 

'.'

 

It was an 18 hour flight from Dubai to Hawaii, one that seemed to go quite smoothly as far as flights go. There wasn't anyone hanging out in the airport when they landed, so they were able to leave without having any trouble. A hotel had been booked for them in Honolulu, where they had landed. They for once felt like right tourists, which was different. Normally they were so used to being worried about landing, and getting around without being mobbed that they didn't really get many chances to go and see the sights. Now, they finally had that opportunity, they would be staying in a house they had rented in a small town somewhere off the main island.

Of course they hadn't rented it in their own names, that'd be foolish. It was done in a crew member's, with consent, obviously. They would spend a night in the capital, then head off to the house they'd rented. They were slightly nervous, but not as much as they were used to being. They knew they had fans in Hawaii, they weren't stupid. They both knew, in any place they ever went, there would be the casual fan encounters, and also crazy ones, where security was often not enough. It was so bad that they almost always were kept in secret locations.

And, if a fan or two did find out where they were, it was on purpose. Their team, albeit a bad one, had come up with a plan after they had quite a large following, that would hide them whenever possible. But of course, to keep up appearances, they were paraded around like show ponies, to the masses. Pap walks were becoming normal to them all, though Harry was the most often used. As annoying as it may be, he had grown used to it. It was sad really, fame looked so nice from the outside looking in, but once you dipped your toe in the water, you were shocked by the sheer amount of shit being done behind the scenes.

After being driven to their hotel suite for the night, the two were lounging around, waiting for sleep to hit them. It was a little after midnight, and both were immensely exhausted from the flight, yet neither could fall asleep. They lied awake in bed, intertwined in each other, surrounded by a comfortable silence. "You know, it's nice. This, I mean. S'not often we get to just lay around and not do anything," Harry says. Louis smiles into Harry's hair, and grabs onto his hand, and squeezes them in his.

"I know, it's quite tranquil. Peaceful, even." Louis yawns. A few moments later, Louis is down for the night, and Harry follows soon after him.

Harry awakes to a lack of an arm around his torso, and is momentarily confused, until he hears the shower running in the bathroom to his right. He sits up, his bare chest attacked with the cool air of the surrounding room. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, and blinks a few times to adjust his eyes to the bright stream of light shining in from the near by window. He leans over to his left, and grabs his phone from the small bedside table, and unlocks it. He immediately checks his messages, and sees he has one from each of the boys, including a few from his family and friends, just checking up on him. He replies to the boys' confirming their safe arrival, and a swift promise to use the entirety of the box of condoms Niall had given them before they left for the airport. ("Just remember, he needs to be able to walk when he gets back." That comment had been directed at Louis, which only caused Harry to blush.)

A quick glance at Instagram, and a random tweet. ('sunshine and rainbows. all a person really needs in life.') Later, he hears the shower stop, and the curtain opening. He smiles, and yawns for what seems like the millionth time that day, and opens his phone's camera. Louis eventually walks out of the bathroom, getting a surprise snapping noise in his entrance. Harry smirks, and quickly saves the picture. "Babe, its too early for pictures," Louis whines.

"Oh come on, you look absolutely lovely," Harry replies. Louis only glares.

"I'm not wearing pants. The only thing hiding my dick is a thin white complimentary towel, in what world is that the recipe for a lovely anything?" Louis asks.

"Well, in my world, you always look ravishing."

"Oh, how sweet, young Harold, but your compliments will get you nowhere." Harry laughs, his body falling back onto the bed. Louis walks over to his suitcase before Harry responds.

"I'm only using you for your money," Harry jokes.

Louis looks back at him, then back at his clothing. "Babe, we both know those clothes you wear were not purchased by a Tomlinson of any kind. And besides, if I were to buy you clothes, well, they wouldn't be seen by any eyes but my own." This comment shuts Harry up. Louis again, looks at him. "Well that was far more effective than I planned. Anyways, you need to get dressed, car's going to pick us up and take us to the boat soon, can't have anyone else seeing your dick," Louis stands straight up, "Though after that X-Factor selfie, fairly certain you have nothing to hide." Harry gasps.

"Thought we agreed to never speak of that," Harry says.

"I also thought you agreed to only take pictures of me after the time of ten a.m., but I guess things change. Now, get your ass up."

"Pushy, pushy," Harry says in surrender. "So, what's the plan for after today?"

"Well, we'll take the boat to the island like I said, but after that everything is fair game. Thought we could get our tan on, maybe do a few scandalous activities. How's that sound?" Louis states, a smile on his lips. Harry grins and gets up from the bed. His hair hangs into his eyes and he pushes it aside to allow his eyes to see where he's going.

They both get dressed and wait downstairs for their car to arrive and take them to the pier where their rented boat will then take them to a whole other island. When their car does arrive, however, Harry isn't nearly as graceful as he thought he once was, because as he's pulling suitcase behind himself the wheels catch on something, causing him to face plant onto the ground. Louis stops himself once he begins to laugh as he rushes up to Harry's side. "You okay?" Harry groans in response and stand back up, pulling his suitcase a little slower this time. They pile their luggage into the back of the car and climb inside the backseat. Harry's seated behind the driver, Louis to his right. It's a ten minute drive, but Harry had somehow still fallen asleep in that incredibly short amount of time. The car pulls up to the pier and Louis gently shakes Harry awake, feeling slightly bad for waking the sleeping boy.

"Let's go, H."

 

 

* * *

 

_they only pretend you would be mine_

 

'~'

 

"Hey, Louis, why do you think boats are so peaceful? Do you think it has anything to do with the salt in the water? I'm trying to be scientific about this, create a hypothesis and all that."

"H, I don't think now is the time to-" 

The boat lurches to the right, and Louis holds on to his stomach, maybe if he holds onto his gut the food he had the morning will stay where he wants it. He never really thought about the possibility of getting seasick while on the trip; some things just get looked over in planning, and this was one of those things. He looked to Harry, seeing him so happy was a strange feeling. Harry was born to be in the water. Honestly, he's an incredible swimmer, no wonder he's a klutz on land, he's definitely a merman at heart and mind.

"You okay?" Harry asks, wrapping an arm around Louis' small waist, trying to keep him on his feet. "You maybe want to sit down for the rest of the trip, I don't think you puking would be very nice." Louis only nods in response, taking a seat on the small benches that line the inner walls of the small boat.

The boat eventually stops, calming Louis' heart rate. The captain walks into the back where Louis and Harry are with a pleasant look on his face. "Well boys, we've arrived in one piece, hope you enjoy your stay on this beautiful island. I'll see you both whenever you're ready to leave, just call and I'll head over as soon as I can." He seems like a nice man. 

Harry steps forward and shakes his hand, "Really appreciate the ride. Thanks." 

"You guys are the ones paying me. Just kidding, it was a pleasure to take you guys over here, I have some business over here so it's not like it was a waste of my time," he chuckles. "Don't forget your bags, they're up near the wheel."

They grab their bags and step out onto the wooden dock. They walk up towards the land, their bags clanging around behind them. There are several worn buildings lining the water, each looking as old as the next. "So, where do we go from here?" Harry asks, looking at Louis for direction. 

"There's a restaurant in town, figured we'd have a bit of something to eat after head out to the house. It's somewhere along the water, and I'm sure it won't be that hard to find," Louis answers.

"Look like proper tourists, just lugging our bags around town, don't you think Lou?"

"A little bit of exercise never killed anyone,  _Harold_."

Harry chuckles,"says the same man who makes me give him piggyback rides because _'it's just so far Haz, and I'm so tired'._ "

"It is literally a block from here, I think I can manage, thanks," Louis retorts. 

Harry leans into Louis' side and quickly kisses his cheek,"okay, Babe, then let's get going."

They walk along a stretch of sidewalk, searching for the house they'd be staying in. It's not even a minute into the walk and Louis is already groaning. They find it without much struggle though; Louis had seen a picture of it online when he had rented it, so he had known what he was looking for. Harry, though, had no idea what he was walking into. The house was on the smaller side, but Harry liked the quaintness of it. They walk up to the steps and Louis reaches under the welcome mat and pulls out the key for the door. He had been told where it was located when he rented the place, which was helpful.

Louis unlocks the door and pockets the key. They both pull their bags inside, resting them in the entryway of the door. Harry flips on the light switch, the room bursts into light, showcasing the warmly painted walls surrounding them. "Wow, this is a lot nicer than I expected, and this is just what I can see from the door."

"You haven't seen the view yet, trust me, you'll never want to leave, Babe," Louis responds with a smile. Harry walks further into the house, his pace quickening in eagerness. 

"Sometimes I really do forget we're rich," Harry comments. He walks up to a set of sliding doors that lead out onto a deck. His mouth drops open as he takes in the view of the ocean in front of him. Louis walks up behind him and wraps his arms around him.

Louis rests his head on Harry's shoulder, "pretty, isn't it?"

"Breath-taking," Harry whispers in awe. "It's such a shame we're only here for three days though."

"This is all I we were going to get, H. We'll make the best of it though. Already had someone bring in some groceries, so you can make me breakfast in bed, so you know, all the important things are taken care of," Louis says.

"Who said I was going to make you breakfast in bed?" Harry asks.

"Well, after morning sex, I'd thought we'd both be hungry, I'm only thinking of our health here."

"I am, disgusted."

"That's not what you were saying the other day..." Louis trails off.

"Can you let me live?" Harry questions.

"Since when do you use popular phrases?"

"I've been influenced by the youth," he responds.

Louis laughs, his face crinkling,"Just don't start using emojis, that's where I draw the line."

Harry giggles, turning his head slightly so he can rest his forehead against Louis'. They stand there, taking in the moment, not giving the silence a second thought.

"You hungry, love?" Louis asks. Harry hums in response, turning around to face Louis. Harry wraps his arms around Louis' neck and kisses him soft and slow. Louis kisses him back; but its not a real kiss, exactly. They're both smiling widely at each other, so at most they're pressing their lips against each other's. In this moment neither cares about anything other then each other, and how much love they have for the other. 

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are liking this so far! Btw, future updates will be every Tuesday and Thurday and they'll be a little over 2k each. And a reminder you can find me on tumblr: aintnosaintlouis and twitter: rainbowloueh

 

_and oh how you made me believe_

 

'~'

 

"You want to go eat now?" Louis asks against Harry's lips.

"Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah."

The two of them finally separate themselves from each other and head towards the door. Louis pulls open the door and walks outside, Harry following in his footsteps. Harry placed his hand in the dip of Louis' back as they walk down the short pathway to the road. "You know where we're going?" Harry asks skeptically.

"I do, actually," Louis retorts, a hint of sass in his voice. Harry chuckles and keeps pace with Louis' short strides.

Once they arrive at the small sea-side restaurant, they're seated in a booth near the back. Their server hands them their menus and gives them time to decide what they want after writing down their drinks. Louis settles on his order and looks across the table at Harry, who seems to not have decided as quickly as he had.

"You see anything that looks good?" Louis questions, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know, I'm thinking some kind of fish," Harry replies.

"Harry, this is a seafood restaurant, all they sell is fish," Louis deadpans.

Harry looks up at Louis. "I was trying to be funny, Lou."

"Oh, uh. Sorry, love."

 

| - |

 

It's only a short while later their food arrives at their table (Harry ended up ordering the same dish as Louis). It was nice. The atmosphere was soothing, everything felt really close-nit (that may have been because the waitress called him honey) and no one gave them a second glance. Even when a whole herd of what appeared to be fishermen came inside, not a single one of them gave them any trouble. Louis didn't want to expect them to be homophobic, but he had to keep his guard up; not everyone was as accepting has he wishes they would be.

They're halfway through diner when Louis gets a phone call. Louis answers it and signals to Harry that he's going to head outside to talk to whomever it was. Harry sat alone at the table, taking a sip of his drink, waiting for Louis to return. After a moment or two he pulls out his phone to entertain himself. He doesn't figure there'd be any wifi, yet he still finds himself disappointed when he has to turn on his 3G so he can check Twitter and Instagram. 

He takes a quick snap of his almost empty plate, puts a filter on it that drains if of any color, adds a deep-sounding caption, and posts it on his Instagram to his millions of followers. He then goes onto Twitter, he sees the thousands of dms, and he thinks to himself,  _I really should answer a couple of those._

Before he can do much of anything, though, Louis comes back to the table, though now he wears a solemn expression on his face. "Who was it?" he asks.

Louis looks up at him. "Modest. They um, they want me to go back to LA for a pap walk. They uh, they want me and Eleanor to go out and look at wedding stuff."

"I thought you said we had three days together? Do you have to leave now, or after we get back?"

Louis clears his throat before answering. "They want me there by tomorrow morning." Harry's heart beats a bit faster.

"You told me they would let us have three days to ourselves. What happened to that?" Harry demands.

"The fans believed it."

"What about the ones that ship us or whatever?" Harry suggests.

"They believed it. They, they really think I'm going to marry her, Harry." Harry's holding back tears at this point.

"When. Uh, when do you have to leave?"

"It's a five hour flight, and I still have to get back to the airport, so sometime tonight probably early morning though. They want me and her to get papped walking out of LAX. Want to make it look like we spent the whole flight together."

"She was in London right?" Harry questions.

"Yeah, she was. So her flight will be longer, of course, but both our flights will arrive at around the same time," Louis says. 

Harry doesn't speak for a few moments.

"I'm going back to the house," he states, getting up from the table. Louis grabs onto his wrist before he can get away.

"Forgot to tell you, but they, uh, they want you to be seen in London looking happy," Louis says.

"Why are they dragging me into this? Do they really need me looking happy to make this thing look more legit?" Harry sighs and twists his arm out of Louis' grasp. 

"You act like I want this. Like I want to be with her when I'd much rather be by your side."

"Seems like you do, you've never objected," Harry argues.

"Do you have any idea what I've done for you? The things I've been through just to keep you safe?"

"Just leave it, Louis. We'll talk about this back at the house. This isn't the place for this conversation."

Except they never did talk back at the house. By the time Louis got back (an hour later) Harry's bags were gone, and so was he. Sometimes Harry was so dramatic. He acts like this has never happened before, when in fact this has happened since the beginning. Louis thought he definitely overreacted. Imagine how shitty this whole ordeal made Louis feel. 

Louis figured Harry had caught a boat back to the capital, not like he cared, though. Harry could go fuck himself, if he was being honest. Louis didn't care about Harry. Not now, not when he all but blamed him for all this happening. Louis spent the remainder of the night slumped on the couch, his phone sitting stagnant on the coffee table in front of him. The screen lights up with a new message from Liam. It reads as follows:

_I don't know what you did to him, but you better fucking fix it._

As if Liam knew how hard being with Harry is. He constantly has to tell him how much he loves him, because if he doesn't, Harry starts to think he doesn't love him, and he becomes distant and fragile. Honestly, Louis finds the whole thing draining. Harry is a grown man, he should be able to handle not hearing 'I love you' every five seconds. And heaven forbid Louis even talks to another man. That was a no no. Harry tended to get jealous easy, which was a right pain in Louis' ass. Louis put more into the relationship then he ever got out of it. Sure, he got sex, companionship, a shoulder to cry on, but past that, nothing. He got virtually nothing out of their relationship, and that was draining away at his soul. 

Louis had a thought. One that made his heart drop.

 _He didn't think he loved Harry anymore._  In fact, he didn't know if he  _ever_  loved Harry. And that makes him feel like shit, but not as shitty as Harry made him feel when he walked out.

* * *

 

 

_you had me caught in every web that you weaved_

 

'~'

 

Harry couldn't believe the nerve Louis had. He said they would have a few days to themselves, to do whatever they wanted; that plan didn't include pap walks. Harry just wanted to spend alone time with Louis somewhere away from their houses and families. All he wished for was to have a few days with Louis, he would savor every last moment of them. But now, well now he's pissed. His plane had just landed in La and he was walking through the airport, hoping no one would recognize him. Of course, he isn't that lucky, not that he ever is, but this time its only a handful of fans, he can manage that. They talk for a few minutes, take a couple selfies, and Harry is on his way to his LA home. 

He realizes Louis will probably show up later in the day, but at least he'll be able to get a night's rest before he has to deal with him. Harry doesn't want to think about htat, though. All he wants to think about is what the hell he's going to do. He had texted Liam just before he had gotten on the plane, he hadn't gotten a response, which was a bit worrying. 

Harry was lying in bed, his head propped up on the headboard. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. Maybe he had overreacted. It's not like Louis wanted to leave him to go be seen with Eleanor, but he also hadn't put up a fight. Sometimes Harry thinks he puts more into the relationship than Louis ever had. 

For starters, Louis rarely cleaned up after himself, forcing Harry to do it if he wanted their house to be clean. It was annoying, if Harry had to be honest. All he wants is a clean house to come home to, but instead he gets a complaining Louis sitting on the couch with dirty dishes in the sink. 

Every relationship has its spats, Louis and Harry were no different. This time around though, things were different. Usually when they fought they were still near each other; Louis ended up having to sleep in the guest room. Right now they were miles and miles apart, they couldn't just kiss and make up. This time they would both have time to think things over. Harry had a tendancy to overthink things, a lot. Really, he knew that was a problem, but during breaks he found himself in silence a lot, so thinking was something he found himself doing far too often. 

He eventually drifted off to sleep during the night full of thinking. It was a restless sleep; he couldn't stop going over their spat, and all the things he could have done differently. He didn't dream, he didn't do anything but think.

He woke up in the morning with a headache, that's what he gets for letting his mind churn all night long. He looks at his bedside alarm clock and sees that it's only eight. He sighs and falls back onto his pillow. The bed feels empty. And cold. 

Everyone knows a cold and empty bed is the most depressing thing someone can wake up to.

He's used to having another person lying next to him. That's the only thing he wants right now. Someone else in his bed with him. Not just anyone, he wants Louis. 

 

| - |

 

Louis' plane lands at LAX at nine in the morning. He's sleepy and grouchy. He'd barely gotten any sleep that night. Not after Harry just up and left him, not after all the shit that had went on that day. He's in a back room of the airport, waiting for Eleanor and some management worker to come so he could just get this over with. He just wants to go home; maybe their bed will still smell like Harry. 

Eleanor walks into the room and smiles weakly at him. "Hey, Lou. Sor.ry you had to come in, they told me you were out with Harry for a few days."

Louis sighs. "Yeah, treated him to a trip to Hawaii, but he got pretty mad when  I said I had to leave to come do this. But don't feel bad, I'm sure  everything will end up okay with us."

She doesn't look like she believes a word that just came out of his mouth. "You sure?"

"Yes, El, everything between me and H will be fine."

"Whatever you say..." she trails off.

Just then, a woman dressed in business attire opens the room's door and peaks her head inside. "We're ready for you two. We just need you to walk around in the airport while the guys take your pictures. After that we'll let you two leave and do whatever," she says. She closes the door and leaves the two alone in the room. Louis looks at Eleanor.

"Guess we should go, yeah?" She smiles at him and takes his hand. She squeezes his hand tightly, trying to comfort him. They walk out and are met with flashing lights. The clicking of cameras deafens them both. They smile awkwardly and walk through the airport. There's a few girls waiting around nearby; Louis assumes they were called in to make the scene look more natural. 

 

| - |

 

It's a while after their pap session, and Louis is driving back to the house. He drives past the gate to the neighborhood and down to the house. He pulls up in the driveway, and grabs his bag from the trunk. He wheels it inside and leans it against the entryway wall. He wanders into the kitchen and looks inside the fridge for something to eat. He figures he'll eat something then head to bed. He's still just as tired as he was earlier, which was unfortunate. 

He closes the fridge and instead pulls a bag of chips from a cabinet and heads towards the bedroom. He opens the door and closes it behind himself. He walks towards the bed: he freezes. He sees a head of curly brown hair lying on one of the pillows.

"Shit," he murmurs to himself.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter, next one will be up Thursday!  
> Tumblr: aintnosaintlouis  
> Twitter: rainbowloueh

 

_you could never make eye contact_

 

'~'

 

Louis drops the bag of chips onto the floor. Harry stirs in the bed, groaning when the light hits his eyes. Louis clears his throat, and Harry looks at him. "Didn't think you'd be here," Louis says.

"Where else would I have gone?" Louis wants to say ' _to hell_ ' but instead he shrugs.

"You want to talk about what the fuck went on yesterday?" Louis asks.

"Oh, you want to talk about you leaving me to go be with her?"

Louis sighs. "You know it's not like that, Harry. I'm under contract, I have to do this," Louis states. Harry mumbles something under his breath and sits up in the bed. "What'd you say?"

"Said I want you to leave," Harry repeats.

"What do you mean you want me to leave? I live here too."

"Actually my name is the one on the lease, so technically, it's mine. Now, I'd like you to leave, Louis," Harry says.

"Fuck, you're overreacting. This isn't a big deal, babe. I've been doing this for years, why are you getting upset all of a sudden?" Louis questions.

"It's not just this one time, Lou. It's all the times before this, all the times I've sat alone in a hotel room while you were out with her," Harry spits.

Louis chuckles. "You're jealous of her."

"Fuck yeah I am. We're dating, you fucker, you should be spending time with me, not her." Louis is dumbfounded. Did he really think that?

"Do you have any fucking idea how many things I've sacrificed for you? Huh? Do you? I chose to have this cover-up. It was going to be me or you, babe, I stepped up. I knew I'd at least be able to make it believe-able."

"Get. Out."

"Fine. We'll talk when you stop being such a bitch," Louis says, walking out of the room.

It was late that night when Louis returned to the house. He was drunk, but he could still function properly. It wasn't that late; it was only ten o'clock. Harry was seated on the couch, flipping through the channels, searching for something, anything, to watch. Louis takes a seat next to him, leaning back against the couch. Harry doesn't even acknowledge him.

Over a period of thirty minutes, Louis has scooted closer and closer towards Harry. Once he's seated up against Harry's side, he gently places his hand on Harry's thigh. He rubs it up and down, looking up at Harry's face for signs of arousal.

"You know I'm still mad at you, right?" Harry asks. Louis nods, but continues messing with Harry. He moves his hand further and further up Harry's thigh until its directly over his crotch. Harry stiffens underneath him.

"Want to suck you off," he slurs. Louis looks up at him through his eyelashes, blinking them slowly.

"No, Louis. I'm not in the mood," Harry says, pushing his hand away.

"Come on..." Louis begs.

"Stop it now, and I mean it. I'm going to bed, feel free to do whatever, just don't bother me." Harry stands up from the couch and walks into the bedroom.

Louis sits alone on the couch for a few minutes, still trying to understand what the hell just happened. He eventually drags his sad body into a guest bedroom and collapses onto of the bed. He falls asleep pretty fast, but his slumber is full of images of Harry, and it just upsets him.

 

| - |

 

The next morning Harry ignores Louis' attempts at talking things out. It seems his attitude from the night before was still around. Louis does admit that he shouldn't have kept at it after Harry said stop, but he was drunk. That's not a good excuse at all, though. He knows that.

Louis figures making breakfast for the two of them would be a good way to say sorry.

"I'm still mad at you," Harry states as he walks into the kitchen.

"You know, if you're still upset, maybe we should take a little break from each other."

"Are you suggesting we break up, or just see other people?" Harry asks.

"Well, we're not breaking up, we're staying together, we just won't be around each other all the time. I think we need some time apart to clear our heads. How does that sound?" Louis suggests.

"Whatever. Don't you have to go do something today with Eleanor, or..." Harry trails off.

"Yeah, we're going shopping a little after lunch, and I'm guessing you want to be alone until then, huh?"

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"I'll just, go in one of the spare rooms and Skype with Niall, maybe he'll know why you're being such a dick to me," Louis says, grabbing his laptop and a plate of food from the table. He walks into one of the few guest rooms in their house and sits with his legs crossed on the bed. 

He opens up his laptop and waits for it to boot up. Once it does he opens Skype, he sees Niall is, in fact, online, and he hits the call button, waiting as it rings.Niall answers the call. From the look of his surroundings, he's in a hotel room. "Oh, hey, Louis. Everything alright? Liam said something about Harry being upset 'cause of you."

"He's just overreacting. I had to do some pap walks with El, nothing that hasn't happened a thousand times before," Louis groans.

"Besides that, everything okay with you two?"

"I honestly have no idea, mate. Last night I got drunk, came home, and gave asked to give him a blowjob on the couch. He pushed me away and went to bed.  He's barely talked to be today. I didn't think he was that upset, and now I feel like shit. He's in the other room, and I miss him. I want my Harry back."

"Have you tried talking it out with him?" Niall asks.

"I told you, he doesn't even want to talk to me. He says he doesn't even want to see me today, all because I have to go out and shop with Eleanor. You think he just wants more attention? Because, like, I've always tried to pay as much attention to him as I can, but he's not always my first priority, you know?"

"I think everything will be okay. You two have lasted this long, I doubt he'll let something as silly as that pull you two apart. Give him a day or two to collect his thoughts and everything will go back to normal," Niall states.

"I hope so, I don't think I could handle a breakup right now. Not when I've been doing so much to hide our relationship. If we break it off, we'll have to ween off me and Eleanor, and then there won't even be a point in me being seen out with El, there'd be nothing to hide."

"Do you love him?" Niall asks.

"What do you mean? Of course I love him, Niall."

"If you love him, fate will find a way to mend you two."

"God, Niall, I should talk to you more often," Louis chuckles.

"Hey man, I'm here if you need me, feel free to ring me up whenever. If you don't, I'll see you in a week for the next set of shows. Bye, Lou."

"Bye, Niall."

 

* * *

 

_everything you got_

 

'~'

 

"Goodnight Cardiff!" Niall yells as he and the rest of the boys exit the stage for the final time of the night. They're all buzzing with adrenaline. They head into a back room of the stadium to settle down and wait for a majority of the crowd to leave the area before they, too, can leave. 

"Hey, Liam, can you pass me a piece of pizza?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, sure," Liam replies, handing him a slice of pizza one of the crew members had ordered them.

"S'not like he needs the extra food. We all know it just goes straight to his thighs and stomach," Harry comments. Louis stares at him in shock.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking. You're getting fat, Louis. Maybe if you went to the gym you wouldn't be having that problem," Harry snarls.

"Harry, what the fuck?" Niall questions. Harry glares at him.

"Come on, you all see how fat he's getting. Just look at him, no wonder he never takes off his shirt." Louis stands from his seat and exits the room, slamming the door loudly behind himself.

Niall gets up and chases after Louis. Zayn goes as well; he was the closest to Louis, well besides Harry, but now it was mostly just him.

"I don't fucking know what your problem is, but fucking knock it off. Why're you talking shit about Louis? You know you're not perfect either, H." Harry chuckles darkly.

"It's not like I'm lying," Harry comments.

By this point, Liam has had enough. He walks over to Harry and pulls him up by his shirt collar. "Fix whatever is going on with you. Don't say a damn word to Louis until then. Got it?" Liam demands angrily.

"Whatever." Liam tosses him back onto the couch. Harry's still smirking when he leaves the room to go find Louis.

 

| - |

 

Louis had run into the men's room and locked himself in the back stall. That's where the three boys found him, anyways. When Niall first entered the room he didn't expect to hear sobs coming from within, but once he heard them, he knew it was Louis. He walked calmly to the back of the restroom and knocked softly on the door. "Louis, can I come in?"

Louis sniffles. "No, Ni, you don't need to see me like this."

"Come on Lou, you can't keep yourself locked in there all night," Niall states, leaning against the door.

"I can always try," Louis responds. Zayn walks into the bathroom and sees Niall standing in the back, talking through the stall door. Niall waves him over.

"Would you rather talk to Zayn? I can leave you two alone in here to talk if it would make you feel better," Niall suggests.

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good, I'll talk to Z," Louis says softly. Niall does as promised and leaves the restroom. He stands next to the outer door, waiting for Louis to come out. A few moments later Liam strides up to him, anger written on his face.

"Please tell me you told Harry off," Niall says.

"You fucking bet I did. Can't believe he just sat there and insulted Louis like that. They've been dating for years, something's obviously up. I just don't understand what."

Niall sighs, shaking his head. "Well, Z's inside talking to Louis. I'm just hoping he'll come out soon."

"What are we going to do with Harry, though? They're sharing a hotel room," Liam states.

"He'll probably want to sleep next to Zayn. Harry will just have the room to himself. I have no idea what's up with him but its got to stop. He keeps upsetting Louis, he's not going to want to preform anymore."

"That's what I'm worried about. Louis loves preforming, but if Harry keeps this up, he won't be having fun anymore."

Liam and Niall continue talking outside in the hallway while inside the restroom Louis is crying on Zayn's shoulder, wondering if Harry still loves him. Zayn hugs him tightly, whispering soothing words into his ear. "What does it matter if he still loves you? If he loved you he would've never said the words he just said about you."

Louis wipes his tears on the back of his hand and sniffles. "Yeah, you're right. We're just going through a rough patch right now, though. I'm sure everything will be back to normal eventually."

"Louis, I just want you to know, that even if you and Harry can't work it out, me and the other boys will always be here for you," Zayn says. Louis wipes his tears again and backs away from Zayn. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll just fix myself up a little and I'll be right out." Zayn nods and leaves the restroom. Liam and Niall look up at him expectantly. 

"He okay?" Niall asks.

"He'll be out in a minute or two, but I don't think he should be around Harry. Need to make sure they aren't in the same car or room as each other, at least not tonight."

"Yeah, we figured he'd stay in your room if you didn't mind. And Liam offered to keep an eye on Harry," Niall says.

"I don't mind, as long as he feels safe," Zayn replies. 

When a security guard tells them its time to leave, Louis is out of the bathroom, and Harry is no where to be found. They all assume he already left to go to the hotel without them; not that they mind, because honestly, they don't.

They all climb in two separate cars; Liam and Niall in one, Zayn and Louis in another. Louis is quiet for the majority of the ride, only commenting when Zayn speaks to him directly. When they arrive at the hotel, there is already a swarm of people near the front doors, but luckily the staff had stopped them from coming close to the back door. Zayn climbs out of the car first, Louis following behind him.

All Louis wants to do is get inside and go to bed. He's had a long day, and he needs the rest. He knew he shouldn't think about the words Harry said to and about him, but that's all his mind kept coming to. He takes the elevator with the other boys and taps his foot in impatience as he waits for it to reach their floor. 

The elevator doors open and Louis is the first out. He goes straight to the room he'd be sharing with Zayn and waits for Zayn to follow with the key card. Zayn unlocks the door and walks inside. There's only one bed, but they'll make do. Zayn didn't mind sharing the bed; Louis was his best friends, and best friends did nice things for each other.

Zayn goes into the bathroom to take a shower and Louis lies down on the bed. He decides he'll take himself a shower after Zayn's done. He gets up from the bed to find his suitcase when he realizes something. 

The crew that brought up his bags were told he was rooming with Harry. So that means his bags were with Harry. 

 _Fuck_ , Louis mumbles to himself.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating last Thursday, something serious happened, and I couldn't write, anyways, here's the chapter, hope you like it!

_based off of my contacts_

 

'~'

 

Louis thought of the possible things he could do. He could wait for Zayn to get out of the shower and ask him to go get his bag, and risk having to answer more questions. Or, he could go to Harry's room and get the bag himself. Okay, the latter is the stupidest thing he's ever thought of, so that's a no-go. He decides he'll just wait for Zayn; honestly, he'll be out in less than ten minutes, and Louis doesn't need his clothes until Zayn's finished, so it works out. 

Eventually, Zayn exits the bathroom, clothed only in a white towel that hangs precariously low on his hips. He shakes out his hair and looks up at Louis. "Thought you'd already be asleep. You need something, bro?" 

"Yeah, they had my bags sent to Harry's room. I'd go ask Liam or Niall to do it, but I don't know what room Harry's in, and I don't want to knock on his door," Louis explains.

"Liam's just across the hall, you can ask him. I'd do it, but I need to get dressed, and if I was in the same room as Harry alone, one of us wouldn't come out of the room the same way we came in."

"I'll go ask him, I'll be back in a few minutes," Louis says, standing up from the bed. He strides towards the door, opens it, and steps into the hallway. He takes a few steps and knocks on the opposite door. From within the room, Liam yells 'come in', and Louis does.

Though as soon as he does he wishes he hadn't, because sitting on the bed next to Liam is Harry.

"Oh come the fuck on, can I catch a fucking break?" Louis groans.

"I'm thinking the same thing, asshole," Harry comments with a smirk. Liam slaps him on the arm, and looks at Louis.

"What did you need?"

"I want my bags from Harry's room, they got put in there instead of Zayn's," Louis supplies.

"Maybe you wouldn't have this problem if you would let things go and just room with me like you were supposed to."

"Listen here Hort-" 

"Can you two please, for the love of all that is holy, shut the fuck up?" Liam asks exasperatedly. Louis crosses his arms and pouts.

"I just want my clothes," he mumbles.

"Just go get them out of my room, it's unlocked," Harry says. Louis huffs out a 'fine' and leaves to get his bags. Well, he really just needs the one with his shirts and boxers in it, the other has his pants, and he doesn't plan on wearing any to bed.

Louis walks into Harry's room and sees his bag sitting right next to one of Harry's. He grabs it and begins walking back towards the door when a flash of color catches his eye. He's eyes glide over the screen of Harry's laptop as he reads the words written on the page. It's porn. The bastard was watching porn. Not only was he watching porn, it was twink porn.

Oh, he's into twinks huh? Well maybe if he stopped being such a dick to Louis, he'd convince Louis to shave his beard and look more like a twink. If he keeps acting like a dick, though, the beard will only get longer.

Louis rolls his eyes and drags his bag out of the room, down the hall, and into Zayn's room. He drops it next to the bed, and walks into the bathroom. He ignores Zayn's question of 'why do you look so pissed?'.

He starts the shower and strips himself down, throwing his clothes on the floor carelessly. He walks to the sink and sits his elbows on the counter top. He rests his head in his hands and sighs, running his hands through his hair. He looks at himself in the mirror and cringes. He's lost the bright blue color in his eyes, now it's only a pale blue, which, in all honesty is more of a sad gray.

He looks like a ghost of himself.  _Fuck_ , he thinks to himself. He really needs to pull himself together. He shouldn't need Harry just to be happy, he can do that on his own. Okay, maybe that was easier said than done, but still. The fact that he even acknowledges the fact that he doesn't look nor act the same is good. It means he at least notices. Though, it doesn't mean he'll do anything about it, but baby steps, baby steps.

He steps into the shower and lets the hot streams of water wash away the day's troubles.

Though, he thinks, they're doing a really shitty job, because he still has Harry's face and the cruel words he said floating around his head.

Part of the time he wants to kill Harry, the other half he wants to kiss him and make everything better. Alas, nothing can be done now, Louis' in the peace and calm of a shower, and nothing could bother him. Hell, the building could be on fire and honestly, he'd probably just stay in the shower.

That is until a knock at the door interrupts his quiet time.

He groans. "What the hell do you want?"

"You forgot one of your bags in my room, and I thought I'd bring it to you," Harry answers. Oh. It's Harry, well he wasn't expecting that one.

"Just set it next to the other one, and leave."

"Fine then, grouchy pants," Harry says.

"Fuck off!" Louis yells in response. Wait, he was already doing that. Ha. Louis' a lot funnier than he remembers being.

He washes his body and hair (not necessarily in that order) and rinses the suds off. He climbs out of the shower and shakes his hair out, drying it quickly with a towel. He dries himself off and wraps the towel around his waist and walks out into the hotel room. He's so preoccupied by making sure he doesn't drop the towel that he doesn't realize the rest of the boys are all sitting on the bed staring at him.

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me."

* * *

 

_you a fraud_

 

'~'

 

"Louis, we all know you and Harry need to work some things out," Liam states.

"Well no fucking shit, Liam, I am aware of the issues in our relationship at the moment. What I don't need is issues in our friendship, now, I'd appreciate it if you all left, except Zayn of course," Louis replies.

"Louis, I think it would be in both your best interest to listen to what we have to say," Niall says. Louis was blown away. Absolutely blown away by their sudden interest in his and Harry's relationship. Where was this emotional support when Haylor was going on? The whole time Harry was being seen with her Louis had felt like dog shit. Yet the moment Harry's in any sort of distress they show up, Louis just honestly doesn't get their logic.

"Why are you guys suddenly so interested in us, huh?"

"We're in a band with you, and everyone, including the fans, can tell there's something up with you two. You've both been different ever since you went off on vacation. We just want the old Louis and Harry back," Zayn comments sincerely. Harry chuckles and Louis huffs.

"Maybe you'll get the old us back when Harry stops acting like a dick to me any chance he gets. You think I'm fat? Have you forgotten about your love-handles?" Louis questions condescendingly.

"At least my thighs aren't the size of two watermelons," Harry retorts. 

"Hey, why don't you just fuck o-" 

"Just shut up! Both of you, just stop arguing and talk, for fuck's sake, you're both adults capable of having a conversation with one another." Liam is pissed. Actually, he's far beyond that, he will explode with rage if either of the boys makes another snarky comment towards the other.

"He started it," Harry mumbles.

"Wouldn't have had to if you hadn't insulted me earlier."

"Wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true, Babe." Niall groans and places his hand snugly over Harry's mouth.

"Problem solved." Louis smirks and walks over to his suitcase, grabbing a t-shirt and boxers out. Niall yelps in disgust a few seconds later, wiping his hand on his pants. "He fucking licked my hand!"

Liam sighs, and stands up from the bed. He obviously realizes that talking isn't going to work. That much is clear when he grabs Harry's wrist and all but drags him out of the room. Then it's just Niall, Zayn, and a very naked Louis.

"You're going to have to talk to him eventually, you know that, right?"  This time it's Louis' turn to sigh.

"Just let me sleep on this, yeah? I'll deal with all this shit in the morning, now, are you little or big spoon?"

"Big spoon you idiot, now come on, get dressed in the next minute or I'm shutting off the lights, I'm tired." Louis took his time getting dressed; he knew Zayn had only said that in a teasing manner, the guy loved Louis.

Louis climbs into the bed and pulls the cover over himself. Zayn wraps his arm Louis and intertwines their legs. They fall asleep cuddled together, Louis contently falls to sleep, Zayn does as well only a few moments after.

 

'~'

 

In the morning Louis awakes to a cold, empty bed to his side and groans, rolling over. He opens his eyes slowly and looks around the room. It appears to be empty save for himself, and he can't hear the shower, so Zayn had probably left the room previously. Louis yawns and stretches his arms, sitting up in bed. He gets up and treads to the bathroom, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He can't quite believe it, but he seemed to have gotten a better night's sleep with Zayn than he ever had with Harry.

 

'~'

 

"What do you mean we have a week?" Louis asks angrily. 

"You and Harry are acting like dicks to each other. I'm giving you guys a week to get your shit figured out before I figure something out for you. It starts tomorrow, and by this time next week, you guys need to be friends again," Liam states.

"This isn't really any of your business, Liam," Louis replies bitterly.

"Shut up, Lewis."

 

'~'

 

"You're acting extremely childish," Harry says when he walks in.

"Oh really? Have you heard yourself lately? You called me fat, you dick."

"Like I said last night, I don't lie to the people I know." Louis was fed up with Harry, and he honestly didn't know why he was doing this. He could've just left the talking to Liam, yet here he was. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"Can't we just talk?" Louis questions, trying to settle with the younger boy.

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Liam says we have a week to get back to being at least friends by this time next week. He says he's tired of us bickering with each other. I'm willing to try if you are. What do you say?" Louis offers.

"I guess, but I'm still mad at you though, it'll take some time," Harry replies.

"Okay, good enough for me. Don't forget, there's a concert tonight, don't be late." Louis exits the room and walks back over to Liam's room. He knocks on the door and enters a few beats later, closing the door behind himself. Liam's lying on the bed, scrolling on his phone, his head resting on a pillow.

Louis greets him and joins him on the bed. "You wanna go out and find something to do?" Louis asks.

"Why don't you go down to the gym or something, I think Niall went down there a little while ago," Liam suggests.

"Sure, why not, if Harry's anything to go by I'm fat, so I need to go to the gym as much as humanly possible," Louis jokes. Liam rolls over and rests his head on his hand.

"You're not fat, Louis, you're normal weight for someone your age," Liam says.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Louis waves him away. Louis leaves the room and heads down to the gym, he figures if he doesn't work out he can at least get hot and sweaty and show Harry what he's missing.

 

 

 

                                                                  

 

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this is late, like really late, and honestly my only excuse is that I didn't want to write on this story at all. But, I figured you guys deserved an update, so I cranked this thing out in an hour and a half.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this, and feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think!

_you fed off my insecurities_

 

 

'~'

 

 

Louis is sat comfortably on the couch provided in his and Harry's dressing room, scrolling through his phone, answering a few texts from his friends and family back home. He smiles as he sees all the messages wishing him luck for that night performance that had been sent his way. He turns off his phone and stands from the couch. He walks to the door leading out into the hallway, and exits the room. He wonders where the other boys are. It's around five, so most likely they're probably just relaxing somewhere in the stadium, waiting for dinner time to come around. 

He wanders to the area backstage where their diner is set up and makes himself a plate of food. He takes a seat next to Niall and Liam, both of which are emerged in a conversation with each other. Liam is the first to look up at him, though his glance is one less than pleasant. He stops the conversation and gestures for Louis to speak.

"What?" Louis asks, confusion lacing his voice.

"Don't you 'what' me. Have you made up with Harry or not?" Liam demands.

"Liam, it takes time. I'm not sure if you've ever been in this position, but at the moment, Harry hates me, so it's going to take a lot more time than you're giving me. Just let things work themselves out naturally, you can't rush love."

"You know, he's right. I don't think you giving them a set amount of time, especially one this short, was a good idea. I think it's just going to end in heartbreak, and that's the worst thing that could happen," Niall comments.

"One of them could quit the band, Niall. They might get tired of ignoring each other and just up and leave. That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid!" Liam replies defensively.

Both Louis and Niall sit stunned.

"Dude. Don't even talk about that. You yourself know how hard it is for Zayn to be on tour when he's not into it anymore. Honestly, maybe you should think a little bit more before you speak. It might help with your problem of people hating you." Niall storms off, leaving his empty plate behind in the silence he had created.

A few beats pass before either boy speaks. "He's right you know."

Liam slams his fist against the folding table, shaking Louis' plate. "Just shut up, Louis. Just fucking shut your mouth about being right. You don't have much room to talk. You're the reason you're in this mess." Liam stands from the table and throws his phone down onto the table. He stomps out of the room and back towards the dressing rooms. 

Louis sighs and begins eating his food. He really shouldn't let Liam's words get to him. He has to preform in under four hours, and he doesn't need the added stress overthinking would bring. As he chews he finds himself thinking about Harry. God, he'd made such a mess on their relationship. Harry didn't deserve that. Neither of them did, really.

As soon as Louis is finished eating, Harry enters the room and grabs a banana off the table full of food. Louis smiles up at him as he sits across from him. "So, why is Liam so mad? I heard him storm into his dressing room. You didn't punch him did you, because you should've called for me, I want to get that on video."

"Oh shut up Harry. Niall said a few things to him that set him off. His anger is his own fault, not mine or Niall's. He's just an over-sized baby," Louis starts to explain. "Like who does he think he is, trying to pry into our relationship?"

"I'm sure he's just doing what he thinks will help. We're both pretty stubborn when it comes to grudges," Harry replies, peeling the skin away from the banana.

"I know that, but he needs to learn what he can, and can't stick his nose in. I realize he just wants us both happy so we preform a better show for the fans, but I think we can work this out ourselves."

"I see your point, but are you willing to talk with me about the things I have a problem with in our relationship?" Louis nods in response.

"Last time I asked you that, you said yes, but you didn't listen to a single word that came out of my mouth. I'm serious, Louis. If you want things to go back to the way they were, we both need to pitch in. Building a relationship isn't a one person job, it requires a bit of teamwork, and you need to be willing to do that."

"Yeah, well last time you and I were speaking you called me fat, so..." Louis trails off.

Harry sighs. "I know. I will admit, I was foolish for saying that. I was really upset with you, and I thought that tearing you down would make me feel better. Except it didn't. It just made me feel like even more shit, I'm sorry, Lou, I really am."

"Your words hurt, Harry. You know how insecure I am about my weight," Louis' voice breaks. A tear slips from his eye and runs down his check. He wipes it away and sniffles.

"I'm so sorry, I knew you were insecure about it. That's why I picked on it, I knew it would get under your skin," Harry says.

"You used something I told you in secret against me. And to make matters worse, you said it in front of the guys. That was what really crossed the line, okay. You doing that just upset them all, including myself. If you want to fight we'll do it in our dressing room where no one else can hear, okay? I'm not dragging them into our arguments."

Harry nods his head in agreement. Louis stands from the table and begins walking back towards his dressing room. Harry sits alone as Louis walks away. Just as he can hear someone in the distance getting closer he lets out a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

 

* * *

 

_i never thought you'd stoop this low_

 

`~`

 

 

Both Louis and Harry at least tried to get along on stage. Honestly, Louis couldn't help but smile at Harry when he sang, his angelic voice radiated out across the stadium. Louis was so proud of him. He had watched Harry grow up from being a young, impressionable sixteen year old, to a now twenty-one year old responsible young adult. It made him feel so much closer to the boy as he thought of their past, of all the good memories they had made back in the early years. Oh, what good times those were.

Niall and Liam avoid each other though. Liam was still angry from before, and Niall just couldn't stand talking to him, he was that infuriated. Zayn was oblivious to the anger, but it didn't take him long into the concert to sense the tension. During a quick break backstage Louis explained it all to him so he would understand. He sided with Louis, of course, and felt the same as he did.

After the concert, Louis decides he'll talk with Harry. Once the night turned to morning, they would only have six days to fix themselves. The group of the boys leave the stage and return to their dressing rooms to change into more comfortable clothes to wind down for the night in. Louis follows Harry into the dressing room and sits down on the couch as Harry gets undressed.

"So, you want to talk now, or back at the hotel?" Louis asks, leaning back against the seat.

"I'd rather talk at the hotel. Right now I just want to get out of these jeans," Harry groans as he unbuttons and unzips his pants. He sighs in relief and pulls them down his long, slender legs. Louis watches as Harry stretches his arms above his head and yawns. He grabs a pair of baggy sweatpants and slides them up his legs, letting them rest precariously low on his waist.

Harry looks over at Louis with a smirk. "Aren't you going to get changed? Can't imagine you want to wear those jeggings any longer than you have to." Louis snaps out of his trance and shakes out his hair, fiddling with his fringe nervously.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I should do that. Do you know where that sweater you had is?" Louis asks, standing up from the couch. Harry points over his shoulder to the clothes rack filled with various clothing items. Louis heads straight towards the gray sweater hanging at the end of the rack. He slips it on over his black tanktop and grabs a pair of sweatpants as well. Harry leaves the room as he's changing his pants, and as soon as he's fully dressed, Louis follows him.

Liam, Niall, Zayn, and Harry are already in the main room backstage when he gets there. Niall, Zayn, and Harry seem to be in a deep conversation, whereas Liam is sitting alone at a table, his head in his hands. Louis looks to Niall for an answer. "What's wrong with Liam?"

Niall glances up at him. "Sophia broke up with him. Turns out she's lesbian. He's not taking it well."

"Damn. I'm guessing he doesn't want to talk about it. I'd say we let him simmer out for a few days, let him come to his senses then help him out or whatever."

"I love how you're acting like you know exactly what I'm going through. You have no idea, Louis. No fucking idea. So don't think, even for a minute, that you can understand," Liam grits out.

"I'm not getting snarky with you. I realize you're upset, I'm going to let you calm down before I talk to you. It seems like the nicest thing I can do right now, given the situation," Louis replies defensively.

Liam grunts and hides his head back in his arms. A few moments later, a crew member comes in and tells them their cars are ready, and that the crowd outside has died down. All the boys get up from their seats; Liam being the slowest to react, though honestly, who could blame him? Louis, Niall, and Zayn climb into one car, and Liam and Harry take the other.

They arrive at the hotel, and luckily and surprisingly, there are no fans camped outside. It's as if they sensed the tense energy between the boys at the performance and decided they needed a bit of peace and quiet. The boys are thankful to say the least. Both Harry and Louis didn't have the energy to interact with their fans, and Zayn and Niall were on the verge of crashing for the night. And Liam, well, Liam was just a mess, and none of the boys wanted to test him.

The ride in the elevator was quiet, and once the doors opened and let them out onto their floor, the boys went their separate ways to each of their rooms. Louis and Harry walk together, Harry in the front simply because he had the room key card. They both slip inside their rooms and lie back on their separate beds.

"So, let's talk."

"I'm still really sorry about what I said. It was completely out of line, it was uncalled for, and just, I'm sorry," Harry apologizes.

"I know you are. And I'm sorry for having to leave during our mini vacation."

"So, we going to bury the hatchet here and go on with our lives, or..." Harry trails off.

"I don't know. What you've done these past few days has really shown a side of you I've never seen before. I think I need some time to decide. That's okay, right?" Louis asks.

Harry nods understandingly. "Yeah, babe, take all the time you need. You do what ever feels right. I understand if you don't want to jump back into things right off the bat." Harry turns off the light on his side of the room. "Goodnight, Louis, I love you."

Louis pauses before responding. "Yeah, goodnight, Harry." He couldn't find the power in himself to say those three words back. He shuts off the light on his side, and they both lie in silence. Louis knows Harry realized he didn't say 'I love you' back.

Louis also knows it must have killed Harry on the inside.

_And yet he doesn't even care._


End file.
